You didn’t think I’d do it, did you?
Bought a bikini top on clearance at the Sarasota Wal-mart. I didn’t grow up wearing a bikini so this is not a normal place of comfort for me. I only wore one once, on my honeymoon for my husband. But there is something to this, something I don’t yet understand. Like I mentioned yesterday, I think it has something to do with my need to quit hiding.
Do you think I’ll get burned in those places that have not been exposed? I’m slathering the sunscreen.
And NO, I am NOT wearing the top while we walk the beach, but only when I slip just barely out our sliding glass door, away from most of the people, and let the sun kiss my fat ole tummy.
We decided to add swimming at the pool to our routine when I returned from drinking in the sun. For the trek I threw a cover-up over the bikini top and skirted swimsuit bottom. Since I hadn’t seen anyone at the pool, I figured it didn’t matter what I wore. Of course now a family, which included a teenage boy, splashed in the water.
I went back to the condo and put on the top goes with my mature-woman-cover-up-stuff-skirted-swimsuit
With all that extra exercise I was under calorie count today, I but didn’t feel hungry. And with all the healthy choices we’re making, I feel fantastic.
I’m surprised I still have no energy for any of the stuff I expected to do, like write in my journal or read. That’s where I usually turn when I need to work things through, like what’s up with this hiding thing, how do I think about all the trials of 2012 (and before), and my obsession with not hiding.
Maybe I don’t want to put the energy into journaling because of the icky feeling in my head that has haunted me since that last car accident. (It bothers me to do computer work and even fatigues me to write in my journal.)
But this resistance feels like something else.
When I lie in the sun I talk to God, but it seems disjointed and jumbled and rambly. I miss the deeper conversations I had with Him with pen in hand, helping me focus.
Still, I’ve no desire to pick up a pen.
Maybe I am still in rest and unwind mode.
Real Time Update:
I did eventually process some of the stuff buried inside. If I’m brave enough I’ll post parts of it in a couple of days.
As to what is happening now, about two months after the above experience, I’m in another plateau. The first time I plateaued I kept doing what I was doing for a couple of weeks, and all of the sudden I dropped 7 pounds. This plateau is starting to concern me as it is lasting longer. I did some research this morning, and I have a few ideas–like being more careful about water intake, which I’ve become slack about. Also, I may need to watch types of foods more carefully, not just amounts. And it may help to push myself a little with the exercise. I am stronger now. I walk farther and without getting as winded, so it’s become pretty easy. If I was wanting to maintain this would be fine, but I’d like to drop another 25 or so.
I sound pretty cavalier about the plateau, but it’s starting to bug me.
What About You?
Any ideas about how to handle plateaus? What do you do when you’re frustrated with the weight loss journey? Have you ever felt tired of hiding–physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally?