I am dressed in a new navy tank top I got at Wal-mart on the clearance rack next to my bikini top. I have a long sleeved shirt to go over it, dressed for Florida and Colorado.
But I’m mostly dressed to show I am skinnier. I think the tank top says it best. And I’m desperate for my husband to notice.
We get lost going to the airport—of course—but planned ahead enough it doesn’t really matter, though it makes us walk faster, lugging our suitcases, and I think of burned calories.
Exhausted once we’ve finally checked our baggage (and I’ve taken out a few pounds to carry with me rather than pay another $20), we settle in at the airport’s Starbucks to wait for our flight. I know the calories are ticking, clanking, adding up with my sugary coffee, and the long day of flying has only just begun, but after almost a week of being 200, 300, 400 calories below 1200, I’m not worried. And after getting up at 4 a.m., I want the caffeine.
We fly to Atlanta and I fight tears as we part, each of us destined to travel alone the final leg of the journey. I am glad I packed a healthy sandwich back at the condo. I love not wasting left-overs, and I love not eating or paying for the expensive, high calorie airport food. Starbucks will be my only splurge.
I miss my five miles walk along the clear water of the Gulf, but know I must be burning extra calories lugging my carry on and rushing through the maze known as the Atlanta airport. I walk a long way to find my flight. Once aboard I finally begin the book I took to the beach, the one my counselor recommended about different ways people connect with God. I’ve been concerned about my lack of Bible study, my lack of journaling. She keeps telling me it is a season of rest, of healing, not of shoulds. Finally she said, “new thing, Paula. He is doing a new thing.”
I wonder what it is, how He will connect with me. I want more intimacy with Him, not less. I miss the long rambling prayers in my journal. I especially miss the times He spoke, and I wrote His words onto the page. Reflective, I treasure that one day at the beach when He and I went deep. It did me good. I wonder when I’ll have the nerve to share my thoughts with those at home. When I’ll dress in a bikini top figuratively speaking.
Finally the plane touches the runway at Denver International, and I think I will go crazy waiting.
I need to see my man.
We meet at baggage claim. He hugs me tight. He tells me I am thinner. I thrill that he can tell.
We get home, and the kids notice too.
So it has to be true, what I thought I saw in the mirror.
I am thinner.
Real Time Update:
The new thing He is doing with me includes my adventure walks right here in my neighborhood. And the choice not to hide, I think.
How About You?
Do you have a “I’m thinner!” story? A time when someone finally noticed? How did you celebrate? How close are you to your weight loss goal?