Weight Loss Journey Day 33

I love fitting exercise into every day responsibilities! I took Sam to physical therapy and rode the stationary bike there again! Later I took him to the rec center so he could walk the pool and build strength back into the hip where he had surgery. I swam while he walked. We’re both getting stronger.

Part of the reason I took Sam to the rec center was my own need to get out of the house and exercise. I tried to type for an extended time on the computer today and had another bad episode with my head. Every time I think I am normal, something like this happens, and I realize I am still not completely healed from the car accident.

Talk about angry and frustrated!

I felt better after swimming laps at the pool. Exercise may have started to deal with weight loss, but I’m learning it also deals with my fight against discouragement.

Real Time Update:

Real life hits hard sometimes. Last Thursday (January 2013) was particularly rough as my doctor told me he believed I would never get an accurate diagnosis for whatever weird thing is wrong in my head. He said I need to learn to live in my new normal, and thinks it likely I will never heal beyond where I am now.

That day got even better when the car insurance guy called and grilled me–treating me like I was doing something wrong by seeing doctors and trying to heal. I got all flustered. My words came out wrong as I felt vulnerable and unprotected as he attacked.

It was a rough day and night, but I put out the word I needed prayer. I got my cry–several of them, actually–over with.  The temptation to cash out was great. To give up on the things I’ve been doing for my healing, like eating right, exercising, and losing weight. I threatened to quit writing. (Which I think would be a little like not breathing for me). Jerry held me. He and my friends prayed. Somehow I got through the bad dreams and insomnia of that night.

And then I kept on.

The next morning I went on a good long walk and let God whisper that He was still there. And then . . . I ran almost a mile! The hurt and anger and fear melted a little as my feet pounded the pavement, and I felt God in nature, in my thoughts, in the sunshine.

Paula modeling at BENew celebration

Paula modeling at the BENew Celebration in Denver, January 25, 2013

And that night I modeled at a BeNew celebration, hoping to inspire others to begin the journey to a new, healthier self.

And I hoped again.

What about You?

During this painful time I experienced cravings for comfort food–it was the first time in forever that I almost mindlessly bought a candy bar just to fill the emotional darkness. But I didn’t. And getting outside and moving did me much more good than that candy bar ever would have. What are you tempted to reach for when life hurts? What is a better choice that helps you?


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8 thoughts on “Weight Loss Journey Day 33

  1. mariekeates February 2, 2013 at 10:36 am Reply

    Sometimes it’s about adapting to the new situation. I was I agonised with epilepsy in my early thirties, at the time they thought I had a brain tumor so it was actually good news. Even so I had to learn to adapt to the new me with the slightly broken brain. No point looking back and wishing, look forward and plan for the future 🙂

    • Paula Moldenhauer February 2, 2013 at 7:10 pm Reply

      Lots of wisdom there, Marie. Thank you. I made the decision to quit chasing diagnosis and to not do further PT, which was one recommendation, but after spending so much time in therapies the last year, I just felt like another therapy without a clear diagnosis was more than I could put time into. I’m tired of trying the next thing . . . so I am mostly peaceful. We’ll see where it all goes.

  2. mariekeates February 2, 2013 at 10:37 am Reply

    Sorry should have said diagnosed not agonised (iPad autocorrect is a pain) 🙂

    • Paula Moldenhauer February 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm Reply

      One of my friends told me she’s having to learn a new language since I got new electronic devices. lol

  3. Caryl Kirtley February 2, 2013 at 4:43 pm Reply

    Look at you!! You are one HOT mama!! 🙂

  4. Paulette L. Harris February 3, 2013 at 3:56 am Reply

    Some things that help me is to keep going is of course, walk, pray, call a friend, force myself through the pain whether it’s physical or emotional, and without fail write and then write some more. Some of my best ideas come then. I also have learned to rest sometimes it’s for myself, sometimes Jim needs me to rest with him and we fight together through the problem. We also do a lot of accepting where we are at and praising Him for what the day is bringing even if it’s bad or uncomfortable. That’s when we remember something “good” and praise anyway! 🙂

    It was difficult Paula to accept both Jim and my diagnoses and we are continuing to walk despite the setbacks. Hang on dear sister and rest when you are supposed to. Another thing that Jim has learned about his situation is that when he hurts, it’s often time to pray for someone else and the pain seems to go away. I haven’t experienced that but Jim does a lot.

    I miss giving you a “skinny” hug, hopefully, I’ll be up to Denver soon and see you. 🙂 You are looking great. Of course, I think you’ve always looked great!

    Love, Paulette.

    • Paula Moldenhauer February 3, 2013 at 5:17 am Reply

      Wonderful words of advice, my friend. I know you and Jim have weathered much and still continue to reach out and love others. I’ll look forward to that skinny hug!

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