Jerry and I attended a Christmas party for a company he’s done a little work for.  I ate carefully during the day, took small portions at the party, and stayed within calorie count! I’m a far cry from the girl in October who couldn’t deal with birthday celebrations. Oh, I go over calorie count as I did on Tuesday, but I’m so much better.

To be honest, I felt a little uptight about going. The father of this family has been known to make $100,000 in a month, and I can’t even compute such a thing. His goal is to earn a solid million next year. His giving goal is to single-handedly finance a revival campaign in Africa to the tune of a million dollars.

As I’m being remade inside and out, I have to deal with my concept of money. It was almost as if the church environment where I grew up believed it was holy to have little. Oh we spent money on stuff, just bragged about our great finds and sale prices. As an adult, I have more earning power than I’ve used because I want to be home with the children. For years, we’ve chosen to live on one salary. With my husband having an entrepreneur’s spirit, our finances have gone up and done as the businesses he built did the same. In the Bible the Apostle Paul said he knew how to be abased and how to abound. (Funny how  I remember the old King James language even though I rarely read that version now.) I know, at least at some level, how to be abased.

I’m ready to learn how to abound.

Our financial ups and downs have given opportunity for me to learn about God’s provision. We’ve done without a lot of stuff, but never without what was needed. Even in bad times I’ve often had enough in the freezer and pantry to share with others who struggle.

One year I told the Lord I needed a new coat. Soon after my friend, Jan, gave me one. She’s about the only female I know with arms as long as mine, and it fit perfectly! Over the years the kids have had amazing opportunities that I still don’t know how we paid for except that we prayed, and God provided.

That felt a bit cavalier. Struggling financially is awful. I’ve cried more times than anyone but the Lord knows. And there were times I couldn’t contain the struggle and burst into tears at really embarrassing places, like a check-out counter at the grocery store.

It’s hard to learn to trust God in this area, to pray in free-lance writing projects or book contracts for me and product sales for my husband. I hate it, but I wouldn’t trade the lessons learned for anything. It’s been hard on the kids, but there was a maturity forged in them through such struggles. It positively impacted their work ethic and taught them about faith, family, and perseverance.

I sense the LORD moving in our finances. Since Jerry has started working at Life Force International I’ve been blown away by the opportunities given him, as well as the healthy attitude from the company about money. I sense someday soon I will be faced with a new learning curve, discovering how to abound financially.

I pray if that happens money will be a tool, not an idol. That I can feel the freedom to enjoy what is given me, but that I can also be generous. There is no shame in having money. And I’m thinking Jerry and I may finally have grown enough to be trusted with it.

Real Time Update:

It’s funny what comes out in a weight loss journal. But doesn’t all of life affect all of us? I KNOW I’ve eaten to out of feelings of being deprived due to financial lack. I’m learning to think before eating mindlessly, that food doesn’t fix emotion (unless I’m truly in a blood sugar low because I NEED healthy food.) I want my transformation to be complete–inside, outside, upside down me! And if I’m living NEW and FREE, I gotta deal with money attitudes . . .

How About You?

What issues connect to your eating habits that surprise you?

Tagged: abase, abound, attitudes about money, emotional eating, emotional weight loss, finances, Life Force International, living new and free, losing weight, money attitudes