Success and Struggle (Day 102)

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I was pleased with my ability to stay on track with wise eating choices despite the fact that a huge spread of all kinds of food and drink were available today at the Peak Writer’s Conference. It was difficult to track calories, but I focused on eating healthy and low cal. I allowed myself a desert, but not a taste of all of them. (Hmm . . . how much of my weight gain was related to my inability to make quick decisions about what I want?) I  kept the water going and had tea rather than a lot of calories from the drinks available. (I did have a cup of coffee with a little flavoring.)

During the break in the afternoon a couple of girlfriends and I circled the block a few times. It felt wonderful to experience the sunshine. It wasn’t enough movement to burn many calories but it got the blood flowing and broke that sedentary haze. I wouldn’t have made a choice like this a few years ago. I didn’t have much energy for block walking and lugging around my extra weight. So even though I don’t think it counts as exercise, it counts as success and change!

I did have a flair up from whatever this icky head thing is that I’ve fought since June.  The morning went great, but after lunch a dizziness shot through my head, and I had to close my eyes for a while. After that I kept trying to track with the speaker and to take notes, but started making more and more typing errors, and my heart felt like it was racing. My stomach grew tense.

I was relieved when she let us have our afternoon break, and when I walked around the block it cleared. I fought tears when it was time to return to class. I guess I was blind-sided by the intensity of the struggle after having several good days. And when my heart starts pounding, I feel emotional. I skipped out on the class for a while asked Kathy to pray for me in a side room. She prayed for my healing. God gave her a vision of His hands reaching down into my head and holding my brain. Her vision made me feel safe again—and willing to try to return to learning. ~ Feb. 2, 2013

Real Time Update:

I’m having more and more good days with the head issue, though today isn’t one of them. :O( Thankfully, the symptoms don’t seem to last as long when they get stirred. Most of the time now I can push through with normal activities, though I’ve learned to take lots of breaks to try and give my head a chance to settle.

I now consider myself on the last few laps of my weight loss journey. I’m in the “normal” range for weight but would still like to drop ten pounds or so. It’s a strange season for me. I’m no longer tracking calories or weight loss, but I am trying to maintain the new, healthier lifestyle I have begun. More salads. More fruit. Less sugar and carbs, consistent exercise. Even without the calorie tracker, the weight is shifting and leaving slowly. I’m debating whether or not to return to counting calories for that last ten pounds, or to continue this approach. I’m also dealing with some hormonal issues. The doctor is working on them. I’m considering focusing on getting that issue straightened out because I think the last little bit of weight is also tied to them and once they clear the rest will be easier.

What About You?

What makes you feel safe? If you’ve lost significant weight and are close to your final goals, how do you approach it? If you’re female, has the change of life affected our weight loss journey?

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