You’d think after more than a year of a healthier lifestyle I wouldn’t fight this battle anymore.
And I want a cookie. Or several.
Or a nap.
Actually I want both, in that order.
An innocent conversation turned into something different. Though I don’t believe there are lasting hurts, my emotions feel worn-out and tangled.
And why does that have to lead to food?
Why isn’t my first response to do something good for me–take a walk, say a prayer, cry a little and let it go?
But even though I know eating will NOT fix me, even though I know mindless eating (especially of empty calories) will HURT me, my overwhelming desire is to nurse my wounds with food.
This is another reminder that food struggles are more addictions than habits. Habits can be changed in 30 days; addictions must be stood up to for the long term.
The struggle decreases with time, but it doesn’t disappear.
And so we come full circle to where I started not only in this post, but over a year ago: Fighting the craving for sugar. Reminding myself it will hurt my body and do nothing to settle my emotions.
Today I stopped. I wrote out my feelings here instead of eating them. I had a big glass of lime water. I don’t always. But today I fought through.
That’s what we do, my friend. We persevere. We continue on. We fight it through. We refuse to be defeated in our journey to emotional and physical freedom.