Weighin’ In

ginger_crystallized_in_dark_front1900

Yes. A great favorite of mine. Hard to resist

You gotta know when God gives you a cool new understanding of a big concept like I talked about last week, that it will be tested.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve caught the words, “I am overwhelmed” coming out of my mouth. When I did I tried to rephrase quickly. “I mean, I feel a bit overwhelmed, but I know God is never overwhelmed, and He’ll help me.”

It’s been a while since I’ve kept my commitment to you to post about weight loss on Wednesdays. I am determined to do so this week mostly because it is after midnight on Tuesday night, and i just made a bunch of bad choices. I figure confession is good for the soul.

After an incredibly full day I determined to keep my word to get a round of edits to a free-lance editing client. Throughout the day I’d attempted to finish this work, but it needed more germinating time than I anticipated, meaning I’d open the document, play with the structure, and feel confused about why it wasn’t working. Then I’d get frustrated and paint something (we’re doing remodeling at our house, pictures soon!) or visit Facebook.

This happened repeatedly.

It was about bedtime when the thoughts simmered enough to become cohesive, and I tackled the project, determined to finish.

It is now 12:17 a.m.

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This is good, too

I started out pretty well. When the weariness hit and I reached for energy I first chose an apple and water, such a healthy snack as my fingers flew across the laptop on my keyboard.

Unfortunately, that morphed into dark chocolate and almond milk before midnight hit. The good news is I didn’t eat an entire bar.

The good news is also that if I was going to indulge I’m glad it was my favorite brand.

The bad news is that it was two different flavors of my favorite brand and more little pieces than I care to count. (I did resist the third flavor in my cabinet, raspberries in dark chocolate, but I digress.)

And so here I am, clicking away on this blog, thinking that too many choices like this, and the weight I lost will find me again. Thinking that I want to be a writer but that sitting at my computer burns roughly 100 calories an hour, and I don’t even want to consider how many calories I just consumed, especially since I inhaled a calorie-rich supper and half a hot-fudge Sunday before beginning my midnight vigil.

I like to think there are some positive, take-away tidbits when I write about this stuff, even in my bad choices. I suppose the most profound thought I have at this moment is how very easy it is to return to old habits, even after two years of making better choices.

I comfort myself with the reminder that each day is a new beginning. One choice doesn’t undo all the good accomplished. And maybe, just maybe, admitting my step backwards in this public way will help me choose those steps forward.

And honestly? Chocolove rocks. My editing goals were accomplished. I have a soft, warm bed waiting for me. Tomorrow’s rain forecast was cancelled, and I have the opportunity to take a nice, long walk.

His mercies are new EVERY morning.

Until next time,

paula cropped

 

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12 thoughts on “Weighin’ In

  1. paulfg October 22, 2014 at 10:05 am Reply

    I am loving your words, thoughts and honesty! I am I am I am! 🙂

  2. msh October 22, 2014 at 11:57 am Reply

    “I comfort myself with the reminder that each day is a new beginning. One choice doesn’t undo all the good accomplished. And maybe, just maybe, admitting my step backwards in this public way will help me choose those steps forward.

    Some days it is just that single truth that keeps me going and being publicly transparent keeps me honest.

    • Paula Moldenhauer October 22, 2014 at 3:16 pm Reply

      Yes. The temptation is to act like all is always well and to emphasize the only the good stuff, but it doesn’t really help us, does it? And I think while other people enjoy hearing the successes, it is the honest stuff that connects us and helps us all move forward.

      Oatmeal for breakfast. Along with my computer work will be building a fence and painting and I am determined to take a walk even it if is shorter than I like . . .

  3. realchange4u October 22, 2014 at 1:18 pm Reply

    You are not alone. Carolyn and I went away for three days on a little retreat. Man did we ever eat. It all started in a Walmart store in Potuea Oklahoma . Bad choices, cookies, cheettos. Well you get it Paula.Three days later 5 lbs heavier. Choices. Like what am I going to allow in my soul today will keep me from becoming holy. Or what I eat takes me back. Choices,freewill. I really liked this it hit home for me.

    Much love Tom

    Tom C. ♥ Love is the greatest gift On Oct 22, 2014 1:46 AM, “A BENew Journey” wrote: > > Paula Moldenhauer posted: ” You gotta know when God gives you a cool new understanding of a big concept like I talked about last week, that it will be tested. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve caught the words, “I am overwhelmed” coming out of my mouth. When I did” >

    • Paula Moldenhauer October 22, 2014 at 3:18 pm Reply

      It’s crazy how quickly five pounds comes and how much more slowly those pounds are to leave. *sigh* Although it seems my husband can drop them much more quickly and easily than I . . .

  4. Sheila Stacy October 23, 2014 at 4:05 am Reply

    Always hits home. Thank you!!

  5. isaiah41v10 October 23, 2014 at 8:04 pm Reply

    I read about treadmill desks the other day – you can walk while you work at the computer. There is a review of one here: http://www.kimberlygeswein.com/2014/08/14/follow-up-treadmill-desk/

    Though of course nothing beats getting outside in the sunshine and fresh air!

    • Paula Moldenhauer October 23, 2014 at 9:39 pm Reply

      I’ve wondered if I could really concentrate on my work while using one of those . . .

  6. Marie Keates October 27, 2014 at 8:08 am Reply

    It is all too easy to slip back forgetting how hard it is to get weight off. It’s something I’ve been struggling with too. Chocolate does rock!

    • Paula Moldenhauer October 27, 2014 at 9:21 pm Reply

      Especially GOOD chocolate. lol Yes. So much work to come off, so much focus to maintain. So EASY to go the other way . . .

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