After my last post Tom said, “Write and God will follow your writing.”
I read his comments a few times, letting them sink into my hungry, dry soul.
Then it hit me. “God will follow your writing.” Suddenly I grinned, imagining that one of the “followers” of this blog is God Himself.
Then I realized the truth of that imagining.
God does. He follows my blog! He was first and most important follower to grace it with His notice. Anyone else who reads comes after.
I knew this, but I didn’t. I know now. Differently.
And somehow everything I do here seems more important.
I once again find my courage.
Because even if I’m afraid to write for you I’m am not afraid to write for Him.
When there is not one single comment or facebook share or new follower, when I fear I’m just rambling about my life and that my words will not resonate with anyone, He still cares.
He is my first reader.
And do you know what? He likes my rambling, my attempts at humor, my efforts to be artistic. He even likes the posts that are not deep or creative or even particularly interesting.
He likes them because I’m His, and Good Daddys care about the stuff their daughters do.
Are interested in what they create.
Want to know what pours from their hearts.
It doesn’t seem so scary now that I remember Who my Primary Audience is. I can quit trying to figure this blog out, stifled because I’m not sure what it’s all about since the focus is no longer primarily weight loss. I can let the scattered thoughts, all pieces of myself, just sprinkle forth, pouring out in whatever form is revealed.
Because HE wants to see my next post.
Pours His water upon me, lets me drink, and watches what spills over onto this screen.
The prayers I requested in my last post? I think they are already pushing back the clouds. I feel the Son peeking in and illuminating the Way.
Please keep breathing on behalf of my writing life, blowing against that fog that’s been trying to hide the way out. The fog that’s swirled and thickened, heavy upon my heart, weighing it down. The fog full of voices that I shouldn’t listen to, voices that try to cloak their origin, try to convince me they are truth instead of folly.
Please keep that God-breath coming my friends.
I am being resuscitated.
Until Next Time,