He keeps warning me. My sweet husband.
Reminding me that it got me into trouble in the first place.
It’s not just the hours of being sedentary.
It’s the mindless snacking when I get frustrated with writing.
For years my fingers sought out popcorn or chocolate or trail mix each time my brain hit a wall.
It’s like I thought eating would unlock creativity.
But in 2013 I typed a whole novel without (much) reverting to mindless munching. When I snacked I limited my options. Sliced an apple. Worked without needing something in my mouth.
“It’s happening again, honey.” My faithful husband. I don’t like it that he notices. Even though I’ve asked to help me make good choices and maintain the weight loss. Even though I don’t want to return to bad habits.
I still hate it when points out what I’m doing.
Even though I need it I don’t want to hear it.
What happened between 2013 and 2015 that has me panicking, thinking I can’t think without food in my mouth?
Why do the habits of the past haunt me instead of the habits I fought so hard to establish the last two years?
At least today I returned the trail mix to the kitchen. Put the M & Ms back in their bag and closed it.
But not soon enough.
It’s not soon enough when I don’t even know how long I gave in to mindless munching.
If I’m going to be a write AND be healthy this has to stop.
Could use some prayer, my friends. I need a mindset change.
And just for fun:
One more note–I wrote this post last week on a particularly bad day. There is something about public admission of the struggle that helps a gal be more intentional. A few tips that have helped me since writing this post:
- Take time to make a real meal and take a break to eat so you don’t get hungry and graze all day
- Take incremental breaks and make a cup of no calorie tea to sip on while you work. (Peppermint and licorice help curb sugar cravings)
- If you choose to indulge, count out your snack and don’t bring the rest to the computer with you. (Today I counted out five M & Ms and only five.)
- When you are tempted to combat your work frustrations with food, pray for help instead.
- If you need a snack walk away from the computer, have something healthy and small.
- A great pick-me-up is a small orange or tangerine. Today I peeled and ate a cutie. The citrus fragrance lifted my mood, and the bright flavor, low calories, and nutrition of the treat contributed to my craving AND my health.