Gift Upon Gift

Gift upon Gift.1 musical-notes-symbols-pc57zyxcB

Joy upon Joy.

After I posted last Wednesday something beautiful happened. I got an email offering me a JOB singing WORSHIP music. There are few things I enjoy more than singing, and no singing I love more than music that focuses me on God.

You know, Jesus tells those He cares about not to worry. But that post on Wednesday was related to worry. Maybe someday I’ll tell you the story, but this is not the right time. Anyway, here I am stuffing my emotions and eating my emotions, and not ready to talk to God about my emotions. I mean I know I need to pray, but it was just one of those times I didn’t feel like talking.

So in the middle of all this angst the call comes for this job I applied for. The worship pastor hires me to sing in the church choir. He needs a section leader type who can help carry the sound. I’m thrilled. I mean, really? I’ve been asking God for a little extra income knowing I am not supposed to take a full-time job because He’s asked me to enter more fully into the writing and speaking He asked me to do. For years I’ve also told Him I miss singing. So there He is, LOVE in ACTION, giving me a job that feels like play.

The worship pastor says he knows it is late notice, but I’d be welcome to come early for the church dinner and a lenten service. Now because of this big thing in my life I was trying not to worry about I’d decided about 3 pm to put on my jammies and lose myself in one of my favorite BBC mini-series. Instead I’m putting on makeup and rushing out the door. The soup and salad is wonderful, the people precious and welcoming.

Then the service begins.

I’m not overly familiar with liturgical worship or church calendar, but have sung a lot of high church music over the years in choirs and as a music minor in college. The service was only 30 minutes and a gentle, simple time of reflection. Peace washed over me in the words sung in the liturgy.

God is in control.

He sees.

The pastor encourages us to write out a prayer and place it at one of the crosses at the front of the room. I lay my burden down.

No emotional processing, crying,  or hours of journal writing (which is often my MO). Instead a simple laying down. Trusting.

“Sorry I’ve blown you off all day, Lord,” I whisper.

I feel His gentle answer. He understands a momma’s heart. He knows sometimes it’s just too deep for words. He’s not offended. He knows I couldn’t talk about it yet.

He removes all guilt. He doesn’t comment on my emotional eating or how I should know better. He doesn’t chastise me in any way. That’s simply not His character.

His character is to love even when I don’t open myself up to that love.

Even though I couldn’t seem to formulate a prayer, He answered the wordless prayer of my heart. He set it all up, my Sweet, Sweet, God. Pouring peace and joy in unexpected ways.

He soothed the deep waters of this little momma and made it all okay.

How I love Him.

Until next time,

Paula another test (401x192) (2)

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12 thoughts on “Gift Upon Gift

  1. realchange4u March 9, 2015 at 10:54 pm Reply

    I am so excited for you. Leading worship, that should make anyone smile. Your story is so encouraging Paula. It is nice to have someone that keeps it real with Jesus, hiding nothing. It’s so like Jesus to go before us. So many times Jesus has prayed for me when I could not find the words.

    Much love Tom

    • Paula Moldenhauer March 10, 2015 at 3:49 am Reply

      I’ll bet we have more prayers prayed over us that we can ever, ever imagine. I look forward to the day when I see the Lord face to face and get to hear all the stories. As always you’re a huge encouragement, Tom.

  2. Rebekah March 10, 2015 at 1:54 am Reply

    I should jump into those soothing waters more often.

    • Paula Moldenhauer March 10, 2015 at 3:50 am Reply

      There really wasn’t a “should” in this one for me, Rebekah. He just did it . . . I suppose the only soothing thing I did was to be willing not to be so hard on myself . . .

      • Rebekah March 10, 2015 at 3:53 am

        Yeah, I get what you are saying. I pretty much hate the word ‘should’ when it comes to God. He does it all.

      • Paula Moldenhauer March 10, 2015 at 3:54 am

        I guess I’m a little sensitive to should because I lived too many years getting beat up by that word!

  3. » Gift Upon Gift March 10, 2015 at 3:02 am Reply

    […] Gift upon Gift. Joy upon Joy. After I posted last Wednesday something beautiful happened. I got an email offering me …read more       […]

  4. paulfg March 10, 2015 at 7:10 am Reply

    More calm. 🙂

  5. Paula Moldenhauer March 10, 2015 at 2:27 pm Reply

    He is good. Thank you for the prayers, Paul.

  6. Susan Irene Fox March 10, 2015 at 4:34 pm Reply

    How inexpressibly lovely. Your faith; our God. ❤

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