Tag Archives: battle of the mind

Blind-sided Again

Why does it still surprise me?

This pull to emotional eating. This crazy notion that if I just keep eating life will get easier. It’s insidious. A deep ingrained lie I know is not true. Taking another bite will not make everyone in my world happy. It will not pay the bills, solve the complex issues of life, or even make me feel better.snaCKS

I KNOW this. This truth is an integral part of my life of this journey to being new inside and out.

I don’t believe the lie. It is no longer a hidden motivator lurking beneath the action of moving food from the cupboards and into my mouth.

So what’s going on? Why last week did I feel blind-sided by the mindless impulse to find one more thing to eat?

It goes back to habits, I think. Not so much habits of the body, but of the mind. In this season of re-training myself to recognize emotional eating for what it is I must constantly step up to the plate with my illuminated understanding, reject the lie that eating will help me feel better, and choose to believe my new truth. Being healthy makes me feel better; eating more than I should or things that hurt my body ends up hurting me. Emotional holes can’t be filled with food; It’s connecting with God I need, not more calories.

Looking back there are a few practical things that would have made the temptation less or helped me avoid it all together.

  • I should have eaten on schedule. I let other priorities push my meal back which made me physically vulnerable.
  • It was difficult to get to my meal on time, so I could have chosen a simple, healthy snack instead of running on empty. When you eat less you have to eat more often. And being hungry affects everything.
  • I needed to guard my emotions. Someone in my world was down that day. Instead of recognizing the pull to wallow with this person, I mindlessly slipped into someone else’s unhealthy pattern. A better choice would have been to place this person into God’s hands and choose hope and courage.
  • I needed to deal with my emotions, not stuff them down until they screamed out for food.

I did okay that day. I had a few extra bites, but recognized the emotional impulse before I lost control. Then I spent a little time facing my negative emotions and telling God how I felt. I asked Him for help and for the strength to persevere.

I suppose what I’m learning is how long-term the process of changing thought pattern can be. Even when I cognitively KNOW the best response, my natural default is to respond out of old behavior patterns. And the road to victory is just what we’ve been talking about all along. Making one right choice, then another. Being mindful of what I’m doing and why. Giving myself grace when I stumble and never giving up.

What About You? Any practical tips you can share to help us all stay on this victorious road?


Breaking old thought patterns brings victory


Weight Loss Journey Day 14

I may not be doing this perfectly, but I’m down 5 pounds! 205 is a long way from where I want to be, but it is less than I was a week ago.

It’s been two weeks now, and some of the beta testers for BeNew have lost twice as much as I have. The private fb page is encouraging most of the time, but not when I allow the comparison bug to bite me. I want this to go faster, but hey, it’s going, right?

Real Time Update:

I just counted. I’ve been at this weight loss thing for 82 days. And while some things get easier–like less cravings or more stamina while walking or being able to add in another 15 crunches to my routine–some things stay hard.

Like watching the scale.

When I started this blog 14 days ago I was down almost 30 pounds. Today I am down almost 30 pounds. Very little change (at least according to the scale). Talk about frustrating! I’m doing the same stuff, just stalled out.

The battle right now is in my mind. I know from the last time I hit a plateau that if I just keep doing what I’m doing, one day I’ll get on the scale, and there will be a  drop. I can’t let the scale dictate my mood or my determination to keep up the hard work of weight loss. The scale cant make me reach for cream-filled donuts or blow off exercising.

Today I ran into one of my daughter’s friends. I was surprised when she didn’t initially greet me. Then all the sudden, she sprang from where she was sitting and rushed over to me. “Miss Paula! I didn’t recognize you. You’re so skinny!” It helped.

But people didn’t notice the difference the first ten or more pounds. So really, our journey can’t be based on the scale or the affirmation of people. It has to be based on something else.

For me, this journey is about embracing a gift of life-change. It’s about reclaiming my body, moving with ease, feeling comfortable in my clothes. I watched Mama-Mia last night, enthralled as women older than I danced in freedom.

I want that.

But, for me, this weight loss journey is yet more.

It’s also embracing God.

That may sound crazy, but I know He is in this with me, cheering me on, wanting to see me at the weight He created me to be. For years I embraced God with my heart and mind, but put up a “No Access” sign when it came to my body. Slowly I’m allowing Him here, too. And it isn’t hard to imagine a twinkle in His eyes when I walk or run–or even just hop out of a chair with no effort.

eyesOne of my favorite verses from the Bible says, “Keep your eyes on Jesus.” Since that second car accident the impact of this verse has deepened. There has been much I didn’t understand–and some I still don’t–about what happened to my body and emotions in that last crash.

As I’ve dealt with a new depth of emotional and physical trauma, I’ve clung to the fact that my Creator loves me and has only the best in mind for me. Survival is fixing a trusting gaze on Jesus and waiting for His healing gifts.

And one of those gifts is BeNew.

So I embrace this gift of health, set my gaze on Jesus and the prize ahead–and keep going no matter what the scale says in the morning.

Your Turn:

What keeps YOU going when the scale or people or stress discourages you? Where do you fix your gaze when you need to keep on keepin’ on?