Tag Archives: BENew celebration

Nurse Says I’m Rockin’ It! (Day 95)

Real Time Update:

Here’s a fun tidbit about yesterday. I had a doctor’s appointment and the nurse told me I was “rocking” the weight loss. I’d lost another 17 pounds since they weighed me in late January, which is was about when the post below was written.

In yesterday’s blog I alluded to an event I needed to have my game face on for. It was the BENew launch celebration held in Denver on January 25th. I had a blast as a runway model. Jerry and I were warmly received by the Life Force family, and the weekend was a great encouragement to us. I was even asked to share my testimony the next night. For today’s post I thought I’d share the rough draft of what I planned to say. Of course it came out a little differently when I actually spoke. Paula modeling at BENew celebration. I've lost roughly 17 pounds since this picture!

January 25, 2013:

Weight crept on slowly, but after two car accidents in 6 months I found myself in pain, emotionally shut down, and spending long hours each day in bed.  Just getting out of a chair took effort. As an author I was often embarrassed by Facebook pictures taken by friends at book signings. I couldn’t believe how heavy I was. And really, couldn’t they just capture my face, not my whole, out of control body?

When I was chosen as a beta tester for BeNew, I was at least 210 pounds. I received the opportunity to try a nutritional approach to weight loss as a pure gift. The very first week my energy and attitude improved to the point I begged Jerry to take a short walk with me. It was just a few blocks that first time. Over time my emotions stabilized. I found myself craving my Body Balance and my BeFull shake. My cravings for unhealthy food decreased, and I fell in love with walking. In 8 weeks I lost 27 pounds.

At the end of December I was at a writer event and the inevitable picture snapping started. My heart lifted when I realized I could smile straight into the camera without worrying about a double chin, and I giggled on the inside as I heard all the women whispering about how different I looked. The Facebook pictures looked great! In the last week I’ve had two friends walk right by me without speaking—when I called to them their eyes widened. They hadn’t even recognized me!

On Friday I chose to walk almost 3 miles to an appointment rather than drive—and I RAN most of the last mile. I am truly being made new—I love finding the me I lost, not just rediscovering a more slender, shapely me, but being able to move with ease, having more energy, and feeling more hope. And the new, healthier me is connecting with life in a new way, too—not just because I can wear new, cute clothes, but because I’ve grown physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. BeNew is a gift.

Weight Loss Journey Day 33

I love fitting exercise into every day responsibilities! I took Sam to physical therapy and rode the stationary bike there again! Later I took him to the rec center so he could walk the pool and build strength back into the hip where he had surgery. I swam while he walked. We’re both getting stronger.

Part of the reason I took Sam to the rec center was my own need to get out of the house and exercise. I tried to type for an extended time on the computer today and had another bad episode with my head. Every time I think I am normal, something like this happens, and I realize I am still not completely healed from the car accident.

Talk about angry and frustrated!

I felt better after swimming laps at the pool. Exercise may have started to deal with weight loss, but I’m learning it also deals with my fight against discouragement.

Real Time Update:

Real life hits hard sometimes. Last Thursday (January 2013) was particularly rough as my doctor told me he believed I would never get an accurate diagnosis for whatever weird thing is wrong in my head. He said I need to learn to live in my new normal, and thinks it likely I will never heal beyond where I am now.

That day got even better when the car insurance guy called and grilled me–treating me like I was doing something wrong by seeing doctors and trying to heal. I got all flustered. My words came out wrong as I felt vulnerable and unprotected as he attacked.

It was a rough day and night, but I put out the word I needed prayer. I got my cry–several of them, actually–over with.  The temptation to cash out was great. To give up on the things I’ve been doing for my healing, like eating right, exercising, and losing weight. I threatened to quit writing. (Which I think would be a little like not breathing for me). Jerry held me. He and my friends prayed. Somehow I got through the bad dreams and insomnia of that night.

And then I kept on.

The next morning I went on a good long walk and let God whisper that He was still there. And then . . . I ran almost a mile! The hurt and anger and fear melted a little as my feet pounded the pavement, and I felt God in nature, in my thoughts, in the sunshine.

Paula modeling at BENew celebration

Paula modeling at the BENew Celebration in Denver, January 25, 2013

And that night I modeled at a BeNew celebration, hoping to inspire others to begin the journey to a new, healthier self.

And I hoped again.

What about You?

During this painful time I experienced cravings for comfort food–it was the first time in forever that I almost mindlessly bought a candy bar just to fill the emotional darkness. But I didn’t. And getting outside and moving did me much more good than that candy bar ever would have. What are you tempted to reach for when life hurts? What is a better choice that helps you?