Tag Archives: BePure

Muddling in the Middle (Days 75 & 76)

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Photo by Stephen Moldenhauer

As the journal entries below show, the newness of the joy of weight loss wore off about half-way there. Suddenly the climb seemed a little steeper.

I’ve had some frustration, a little muddling around about half-way to my weight loss goals. The good news is this is pretty normal–AND I DID lose more weight! And just as important, I continue to learn about life, about me, about God.

January 6, 2013

Life with a weight loss goal is up and down. I wrote about joy a few days ago. I’ve had more peace and joy in the last few weeks than in a long time. I also had a lot of affirmation the last few weeks as people started noticing my new size. Super fun!But today . . . I’m frustrated. I’m more often hungry again—and fighting more cravings. I don’t know if my metabolism has sped up due to consistent exercise and that makes me hungrier, or if holiday foods were less healthy, and it messed with everything. But I’m not craving sweets. It’s cheese. Gooey and piled on. I had a little cheese on a small potato with ground turkey and salsa for lunch. Thought it would be wise to have a little of what I craved rather than ignore the desire and then binge.

Still, it’s weird to suddenly fight the process again. I was mostly at peace with it for so long.

I am on BEPure this week. Maybe I’m going through another emotional purge. The last cleanse didn’t bother me, but I’ve been weepy over all kinds of stuff today, especially over my on-going head symptoms and inability to concentrate for long periods of time. I’m entering month six without diagnosis or complete healing . . .

On the positive side I know I’m smaller ‘cause I just had to take off my ring to type. It kept rolling around too much . . .

January 7, 2013

They say the first weight off is easier than the last weight. It is coming off slower for me, now, despite the fact that I’m eating healthier and exercising consistently. This morning I worked for a while on writing stuff, like this blog. My head symptoms that began over six months ago flared, but I pushed through for a while. By the time I quit they were going pretty crazy.

Frustrated.

  • That the scale isn’t dropping very quickly.
  • That no one can tell me why my head gets weird.
  • That I’m still having symptoms associated with a car wreck that happened last June.
  • That money is tight
  • That hubby’s computer crashed again and . . .

So I went walking. The first half mile or so all I did was grumble to God. At a mile and a half I took a break, popped into my favorite coffee shop, asked for water, and went to the bathroom. Then I circled the nearby school.

I prayed about hope, standing strong, looking to God for answers. As I prayed for the school, I realized I also prayed for me, for our family, for our whole neighborhood. By the time I’d circled a few times, pouring out my heart, I felt better. I walked past the abandoned strip mall, praying for good things to come there—asking again if it might be a church. Then I walked to the high school, surprised by a nature path I didn’t know about. It was beautiful!

This walking thing isn’t just about losing pounds; it’s about losing bad attitudes, finding faith, believing in hope. Seeking the Son in His sunshine.

Walked close to 5 miles.

I’m home now, enjoying a cup of tea and a homemade persimmon cookie that I don’t feel guilty about. Yes, there’s a little sugar, but there is also a lot of healthy ingredients in it.

And I’ll have plenty of extra calories today!

How About You?

Anybody else find a new round of struggle about half way to your goal?

Weight Loss Journey Day 5

IMAG0326 (2)Time to ask questions and admit the struggle! Awoke to more cramping and bloating from the cleanse. I posted to the secret beta group about the stomach issues. Thankfully, I’m not the only one struggling! I laughed out loud at one comment I got, “It will pass. Literally.” It was encouraging not to feel alone and to know that this is one of those short-term pain for long-term gain situations. Everyone emphasized keeping up with the water intake and healthy foods. (I think the pizza last night made everything worse, but no way am I admitting on that forum that I had pizza!) They also emphasized that getting exercise in will help with the digestive issues. Some people in the BETA group are saying their jeans are fitting looser. I’m just craving my sweats because my stomach is so sore!

Had my shake and lots of water in the morning, but the stomach issues continued. Had an apple, then a healthy lunch and while my stomach still gurgled, it didn’t hurt as much with a little more food in it. A couple of the ladies said they even got a bit nauseous. Thankfully, I just mostly feel bloated now.

I called my sister-in-law, who is seeing a nutritionist and has done multiple cleanses. She says the first is usually the worst by far, that I need to not let the calories dip too low or it might make things worse, and that often people pass parasites in a first cleanse. There also seems to be a balance in the fresh fruits and veggies arena. The people on-line said to be sure I’m eating them. She says she can eat too much fiber and exacerbate the problem. I wish I’d asked her if she’s had emotional side effects. I was excited when she approved of the ingredients in BePure. She is so into all this nutrition stuff, and it felt good to have her approval.

Have a light headache today. Don’t know if it is toxin release, which I think is probable, or just more issues from the whiplash from the accidents I was in.

Ready to be renewed, inside and out. As Life Force and the chiropractor help me deal with my body, I’m getting good support for my mind, spirit, and emotions through a prayer group of fellow writers. I was also offered counseling through an acquaintance of mine who has trained in stuff like PTSD and was watching me struggle after the second car wreck, and have been getting treatments for trauma from a guy who specializes in fight or flight. Interesting how God is bringing all these resources to me at once. I feel like I’m getting an inside-out makeover: from heart and spirit to weight and skeleton! I’m open wide, Lord. Wanting positive change on all fronts!

(later) someone just posted to the BETA group that when we lose fat it releases emotions. And someone else connected emotions to the cleanse. Decided to Google it and do a little research. According to Natural News, “you can remove stored negative emotions with deep body cleansing.” The article continued, “Most people don`t know it, but emotions can become trapped in the body. It`s the negative emotions that become trapped, and the reason they become trapped is generally because we didn`t know how to deal with them appropriately when they originally occurred. The consequence is that those stuck emotions then negatively affect us long past their due. However, with deep cleansing you can release and remove old, trapped negative emotions and end the cycle of being triggered by them.”

Wow! I’m reminded of that Scripture that says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It’s amazing to see how what has gone on in my heart, mind, and emotions can be so connected to my body! Thank you, Lord, for yesterday’s tears, for this cleanse, for purifying me inside and out.

I find it interesting that yesterday’s crying binge began while I did my fight or flight therapy. I’d already had some trauma release with this therapy, but the cleanse seems to be working together with the therapy. I’ve felt no need to cry today, even during the fight or flight therapy. Yay! I think yesterday’s emotional purge was good for me, though.

Happy news of the day: Jerry and I walked together again. I went farther than I have since the June 5th car accident! AND I ate LESS than 1200 calories today and didn’t feel deprived!

Weight Loss Journey Day Four

Having a little trouble falling to sleep at night. Awoke very sluggish. Headed right for the coffee pot. Thought I’d try a heartier breakfast (whole wheat pancake with a little granola in it and a small meat patty) to see if I felt better in the afternoon slump.

Felt good at first, but the day turned dreary. I ended up hiding out in my bedroom and having a good cry. Someone hinted on the BETA group that cleanses can make you emotional. BePure is said to be a more gentle cleanse, and thankfully I wasn’t asked to fast. But I wish they’d talked more about what a cleanse is like because I’ve never done one before. Today felt almost like I was PMSing, but I checked the calendar, and it’s not that time of the month. I’m hoping the tears are just a release of toxins the BePure is attacking.

Thank God I had my shake for lunch. I’m using almond milk now instead of 1%. Tastes better, feels better, and saves 100 calories! I couldn’t get into the kitchen because we had a cracked pipe. Everything is torn up, the damage is between the kitchen upstairs and the livingroom downstairs. Jerry and the plumber are tearing up the house to get to it—walls, cabinets, bookcases. Ugh. The chaos of the day distracted me from getting my usual water in-take or being able to plan an evening meal.

Not good.

No way to get into the kitchen to cook. Stephen bought pizza for the boys. Not something I should have eaten, but at least I ate about half my normal portion. (Ugh. I think I’ll keep this little detail about having PIZZA off that private facebook page where we are talking about our weight loss! A lot of those people are super healthy and would be appalled even if we weren’t on a diet!)

I was sluggish and emotional, even after my good cry and my efforts to get more water down. As the day went on I began to feel cramped, bloated, and aching. Felt a little the night before, but not enough to pay attention to. This time it was pretty miserable and continued into the night.

No walk today. Just leaking pipes and chaos and tears and pain. 😦

But I was also only a few calories over 1200! I’m slowly learning to eat less.

(Author’s note: The article connected to the image I used is all about crying. Not a bad read!)