Tag Archives: car accident

Weight Loss Journey Day 33

I love fitting exercise into every day responsibilities! I took Sam to physical therapy and rode the stationary bike there again! Later I took him to the rec center so he could walk the pool and build strength back into the hip where he had surgery. I swam while he walked. We’re both getting stronger.

Part of the reason I took Sam to the rec center was my own need to get out of the house and exercise. I tried to type for an extended time on the computer today and had another bad episode with my head. Every time I think I am normal, something like this happens, and I realize I am still not completely healed from the car accident.

Talk about angry and frustrated!

I felt better after swimming laps at the pool. Exercise may have started to deal with weight loss, but I’m learning it also deals with my fight against discouragement.

Real Time Update:

Real life hits hard sometimes. Last Thursday (January 2013) was particularly rough as my doctor told me he believed I would never get an accurate diagnosis for whatever weird thing is wrong in my head. He said I need to learn to live in my new normal, and thinks it likely I will never heal beyond where I am now.

That day got even better when the car insurance guy called and grilled me–treating me like I was doing something wrong by seeing doctors and trying to heal. I got all flustered. My words came out wrong as I felt vulnerable and unprotected as he attacked.

It was a rough day and night, but I put out the word I needed prayer. I got my cry–several of them, actually–over with.  The temptation to cash out was great. To give up on the things I’ve been doing for my healing, like eating right, exercising, and losing weight. I threatened to quit writing. (Which I think would be a little like not breathing for me). Jerry held me. He and my friends prayed. Somehow I got through the bad dreams and insomnia of that night.

And then I kept on.

The next morning I went on a good long walk and let God whisper that He was still there. And then . . . I ran almost a mile! The hurt and anger and fear melted a little as my feet pounded the pavement, and I felt God in nature, in my thoughts, in the sunshine.

Paula modeling at BENew celebration

Paula modeling at the BENew Celebration in Denver, January 25, 2013

And that night I modeled at a BeNew celebration, hoping to inspire others to begin the journey to a new, healthier self.

And I hoped again.

What about You?

During this painful time I experienced cravings for comfort food–it was the first time in forever that I almost mindlessly bought a candy bar just to fill the emotional darkness. But I didn’t. And getting outside and moving did me much more good than that candy bar ever would have. What are you tempted to reach for when life hurts? What is a better choice that helps you?