Free to Flourish
Monday Morning Makeovers explore shedding the proverbial weight–whether it’s the extra we lug on our bodies or the baggage of the soul. Today we ask the question: What does your heart treasure?
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Drink deeply of grace. Let His spirit bubble over and through you. Refresh you. Make you new. Photo of Stephen Moldenhauer, taken by Caleb Linville
“God did not run out of grace at the dawn of mankind. And He will not run out of grace for you or for me . . . Receive grace and let it wash away all shame and guilt form every unhealthy choice you’ve regretted and fretted over.” Lysa TerKeurst*
May was an incredible month for us, the season of the marriage our of beautiful Sarah to our new son-in-law, David. But challenges often come at the same time as incredible blessing, and soon after the wedding I faced a difficulty and I whined pretty loudly at God. Let’s be honest. I threw a fit.
David and Sarah dance. Photo by Creative Pixel Photography.
Throwing a fit mad me really mad at myself. The Lord had done amazing, miraculous, tender, sweet things for me and my family around Sarah’s wedding. I’m not sure I’ve ever known a time of such pure joy! He was SO good to them, to us, to me. And there I was a week later yelling at Him.
Geesh!
As I drove down the road I thought, “I wonder how God feels about how I treated Him after He was SO good to me.”
Then I knew.
He simply accepted me where I was. His grace covers me. His love pours over me. There are no walls. No condemnation. No pouting. As Lysa wrote, “This grace and the unfathomable depth of God’s love settle me. Breathes hope into my dread and trust into my doubts.”
Whether I’m stumbling on the general journey of life or the specific journey of losing physical and emotional weight, His grace covers my imperfections, my pettiness, my faults and failings. I don’t have to give into shame.
I don’t have to wallow in disappointment.
I don’t have to punish myself.
I can simply be.
Lean hard into His grace.
And start again.
And so that night I slipped off to bed telling God how much I love Him. Thanking Him for the many gifts. Asking for self-control in the area of my mind so that negative thoughts don’t boil up and sabotage the myriad of good gifts I can embrace. I ask Him to help me not give into temptation to further sin.
Every moment I can start fresh. Walking forward as whole, beautiful, clean, and forgiven. Step into victory and away from defeat.
How about you?
What does shame do to your forward movement?
How does grace impact it?
Can you believe (fully, deeply, truly) that you are accepted and loved right now and always, just as you are? Why or why not?
*The Made to Crave Devotional
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Holy Spirit, be the Water of my life. May I be refreshed by you, surrendering to the flow of your life-giving current. (Photo by Stephen Moldenhauer)
Wow. Urgency, firmness, resolve, consistency . . . I had no idea perseverance packed such a punch!
Perseverance is a good word for me today. I’m emotionally and physically drained. We’ve had some stuff, but in the long run all will be well.
In the long run.
Perseverance.
Meanwhile I face a new struggle with my weight loss and health goals. I’ve come so far and while the products I’m taking have greatly helped me on this journey, I’ve still worked pretty hard. My daughter’s wedding is roughly a month out, and I’d love to shave off that last bit in the tummy before buying that mother-of-the-bride dress. But honestly, I’m tempted to settle.
I’m weary of persevering, and I’m catching myself returning to old habits. Not full blown stress eating, but justifying mindless eating because I’m just so tired.
Where is the urgency, resolve, consistency I felt earlier in the journey? Would I toss all that now?
Everyday I experience the joy of ease of movement, of a normal feeling body, of being the real me in a physical sense.
The journey is WORTH it.
What about you, my friend? Do you have urgency, resolve, and consistency?
Perseverance?
If not, wanna turn where I’m turning?
Father,
Today I am weak. I don’t want to quit. Give me what it takes to persevere. I’m tired and don’t want to think about the weight loss journey today, but I also don’t want to turn back. I’ve come too far. And Lord, I’m thinking of weight, but I’m also thinking of the other difficult areas in my life, the other places I’ve persevered. Give me what it takes not to give up. Give me a renewed sense of urgency, firmness, resolve, and consistency.
And Lord, I pray for each one visiting my blog today. I ask the same for them. Give us focus. Wills of steel that are resolved to follow you on the weight loss journey. Thank you that, as Lysa TerKeurst said, that You love us where we are, but You love us too much to leave us stuck in a place of defeat. Move us forward. Give us hearts that surrender to Your prompting. Make us strong women who follow boldly. God, we depend on your strength.
What About You?
How did the above concepts hit you? Where do you see Protection, Provision, Progess in your journey? How about firmness, consistency, and resolve?
In the Made to Crave Devotional Lysa TerKeurst says, “a scale can measure my physical body but never my worth as a woman.” How do you respond to that statement?
*The above thoughts prompted by Lysa TerKeurst’s Made to Crave devotional.
I’m panicked. Now that the world knows I’ve lost almost 20 pounds, can I keep it up??
Here’s what I posted to Facebook on November 29 in response to going public with my weight loss journey:
Remember when I posted that I was horribly embarrassed and asked you to pray for me about 2 months ago? I said if things worked out, I’d tell you about it someday. I had just applied as a beta tester for BeNew. I had to send in a picture purposely showing all my fat. I was horrified at the picture, embarrassed with the numbers I turned in. Sad I’d allowed myself to gain all that weight, unchecked. Afraid I couldn’t do anything to change it.
When Life Force chose me to test their weight loss program, I was thrilled and petrified all at once. It’s been five weeks now. This morning the scale said I’d lost almost 20 pounds, which is 1/3 of the way to my goal. (Yes, do the math, that’s how out of control this thing had gotten.)
I’m excited that my pants are baggy, but there are other rewards that I am just as excited about, which are unexpected. I’ve found the joy again in movement. I have the energy and DESIRE to walk, swim, ride a bike. Last week, for the first time in YEARS I was walking through my neighborhood and couldn’t resist the desire to RUN.
I’m also blown away by my children and their perceptions of this journey. My daughter is the reason you’re seeing this post. I hadn’t yet gotten the nerve to be public about my journey, but she posted to her dad’s new fb page last night about how proud she is of me. It was a beautiful, make you weep post, but (and I know this was not her goal) it was also incredibly convicting.
She said that for 21 years she’d watched me care for my heart in hard times, but never my body. And it’s true. I was a perfectly healthy size at her birth. Four babies came in 6 years and I never worked to get the baby fat off. I became a writer and never balanced all that sedentary life with exercise. I cook mostly homemade and healthy, but I never paid attention to too many sweets or getting enough fresh foods. The nutritional support of the Life Force products had actually made me crave more healthy options.
My sweet husband never once complained as I packed on the pounds. He told me I was beautiful and sexy always. But I’m blown away by how much he is enjoying the new me. We are active together now, often taking long walks just the two of us. I regret the pleasure my choices withheld from him now that I see how much he enjoys my new attitude, energy levels, and body.
I still have a long way to go, which is why I hadn’t yet admitted this publicly, until last night when Sarah told. Or maybe that isn’t really true, maybe the whole admitting of how out of control my weight had gotten was just too hard for me.
I do know I could use your prayers. I do know the LORD gave me this gift. I had prayed for about two years that He would show me what to do about my weight. Until BeNew came along, I didn’t have what it took to tackle the problem. But when I heard about the chance to be a beta tester, I knew I was ready and that there would be a good nutritional, wise approach to help me find my way.
Please pray with me for complete success!
Real Time Update:
January 31, 2013 – my updated picture for the beta test group
Where I started back in October, 2012
Last night I saw the picture I sent to the beta group audition. I thought I would never, ever, ever show it in public. But if this blog is about encouraging others, I need to be vulnerable. And I think this picture speaks more loudly than my words. Change is possible.
I was out of shape. Not just heavy, but I had neglected movement as well as healthy portions. I was sluggish. Tired. Even found myself struggling to get out of a chair sometimes.
Freedom is returning. The nutritional support of BeNew has helped me gain energy and feel stronger even as I eat less. I have less cravings for unhealthy foods. I am exercising and enjoying the freedom of roaming the neighborhood.
My weight didn’t define me then, and being thinner doesn’t define me now. But my weight DID inhibit me and getting closer to the size I was created to be is freeing.
Friends, let’s move forward together for health! For life! For freedom to be all we were created to be–inside and out!
What About You?
How does all this hit ya?
For more about my books visit: www.paulamoldenhauer.com
