Tag Archives: God’s amazing!

A Guest Post – Sweetly Broken

yellow rosesWhen I read this Joyvotion from my friend Robbie Iobst, I knew you had to see it to. I get her Joyvotions delivered to my inbox. You can too. Just follow the link.

Be blessed!

Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord, the one you teach from your law; you grant them relief from days of trouble, until a pit is dug for the wicked.” Psalm 94:12-13

Sunday at church we sang a song by Jeremy Riddle called “Sweetly Broken.” The chorus:

At the cross you beckon me

You draw me gently to my knees, and I am

Lost for words, so lost in love

I am sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.

You can hear it here.

I sat in worship and cried. Sometimes I do that. I wish I cried pretty and sniffed gently. I’m more like a loud Louis Armstrong blowfish, red and puffy and blowing a trumpet. But we are what we are and the Spirit was all over me.

Sweetly Broken.

Ever feel that way? I have. Lately, it feels like it will never end. And it won’t. Not ‘til I see Him face to face.

The adventure of living for Christ is full of epiphanies if we decide to keep growing and not just remain stagnant. This past week it occurred to me that as the fourth of four children I often got my way. (My siblings may cough loudly and obnoxiously at this point.) I wouldn’t call myself spoiled but I do believe I have lived my life getting my way most of the time.

At age 23, I met someone I thought I would marry. He didn’t want to marry me. I didn’t get my way and I remember very clearly turning to food. I could have my way with food. So began a pattern that has been deeply engrained in my life for 27 years.

Now, at 50, I have surrendered. I’ve thrown in the white flag and said “God, not my way with food anymore. Your way.”

Ergo, I am being sweetly broken.

Ouch.

In the last ten months I’ve lost 70 pounds and several dress sizes and a lot of inches.

But I’ve also lost a part of me that was extremely used to being in control. That part of me has stood in the way of going deeper with the Father. That part of me that still rears its ugly head and cries out, “This is too difficult.”

I am sweetly broken.

The breaking hurts, but there is a sweet side.

Physically I look and feel better.

Emotionally I find myself clinging to Christ in desperation and gratitude. And my compassion for other folks going through similar battles has quadrupled.

Mentally I am discovering that I have more room to think about other people or challenges where in the past, that space in my brain would have been crowded with “What am I going to eat later?”

Robbie

Beautiful, passionate Robbie Iobst. 70 pounds down and counting!

Spiritually I know I am tasting freedom. Last weekend I climbed a mountain. I kept thinking I would fall because it was steep, but the freedom to keep going, even if I fell, was exhilarating.

Sweetly broken. Wholly surrendered.

Christ did it first. He showed us the Way, the Truth and the Life that we can have simply by yielding our wills to God.

Today, join me and quit stomping your feet trying to get your way. Pray with me, “Your will, not mine, be done Lord.”

Note from Paula: Robbie’s first novel, Cecilia Jackson’s Last Chance, releases soon. It’s been a long time since I connected this deeply with a book’s characters. A long time since I’ve seen real, difficult issues tackled without making the reader wallow in the pain at the same time. It captured my heart, taught me about life and God, made me think about real stuff, but didn’t drag me down. I felt empowered and joyful at the end of the story. Watch for it!

Sweetly broken

Weight Loss Journey Day 57

Today I took a chance. I did something kind-of brave because I sensed God asked me to. The results were breath-taking. God is amazing. He really, really loves us. He answers prayer.

(At first I wasn’t going public with the story. I treasured it to my heart for a time, but as I reflect on December 19, I decided to share the journal entry. It is to God’s glory. He is amazing . . . So if you’re my Facebook friend and wondered what happened that day, now you can know. Here goes:)

I finally did it. I finally knocked on the stranger’s door like He told me to do a week and a half ago. I texted my son with the address, just ‘cause I had no idea what I was getting into and figured someone should know where I was.

At first no one answered. I told the Lord, “I’m only doing this once. If this is your deal, and You led me here today like I thought You did, You’re going to have to send someone to this door. I’m not going to find the courage to come back and try again.”

The door opened.

I stood there, awkward, fumbling for words.  “I . . . uh . . . can I just tell you my story?”

A woman, probably in her 30s, stood before me, brow wrinkled.

“I . . . take walks for exercise and I . . . um . . . sometimes pray for the people in the houses I pass. And well,”

I’m crying now, feeling silly, but feeling Him.

“when I walked past your house a while back, I felt like God showed me how to pray. I boxdon’t pretend to always hear Him perfectly, but . . . do you guys need food?”

The woman begins to cry. I wrap her in my arms and cry with her. “I have food in my van, can I bring it in?”

She nods.

On my second trip into the house with food, an older woman comes downstairs. She tells me how her daughter (the woman I met earlier) lost her home and moved in with her five children and how the cute little guy on the couch is her grandson. She babysits for her granddaughter, a single mom.

“My husband and I are retired,” she says. “We’re trying to help, but it’s hard. In the mornings I wake up and tell my sweet Jesus that I don’t know how we’re going to make it, and He has to help us. It’s hardest on the little ones. They don’t understand when we have no meat, but I tell them if we have beans and macaroni, we have food.” A tear traces her cheek.

The woman’s faith, perseverance, and strength humble me. That I get to serve such a faithful servant humbles me. How God loves the two of us through this incident blows me away, reminds me that He is the One who Sees. That His love is bigger than I can fathom.

Amazed by my God, on cloud nine I drive home.

(But I wish I hadn’t taken so long to obey. I wish I’d given them food sooner.)

Real Time:

I’m undone again as I post this. No updates today.

How About You?

What has happened in your life that leaves you undone–in a humble, good way?