Tag Archives: life force
On this blog.
At just the right time I will turn to July 9, 2013 in my journal and finish the thoughts I began in my first epiphanies post.
Today I can only hold tight to the promises of my Father and move on to a new conversation. It’s not that I doubt, it’s just that the future is far away. For me, at least. To Him it is like a snap of a finger.
Let’s just say that by my next entry, August 11th, I was angry again and confused, in a very different place that that joyful conversation in Breckenridge.
And the Lord was good, as usual. I knew I could say anything on my mind, and it wouldn’t freak Him out.
I started with, “Please heal me from whatever it is that is afraid and hard within me.”
You’ve been angry with me.
“Yes. And that makes me angry with myself, and yet self-accusation doesn’t make me any less angry with You.”
It never does.
And so the two of us talked about the long haul. How I so often felt without control. How I’d given Him permission for deep change, and how that takes time.
Then He loved me. Said really sweet things to me, things that proved once again He thought better of me than I thought of myself.
Funny how when he complimented me I quit being angry with Him.
At the end of our time He showed me that I’d been begging Him for scraps when He wanted to lay an abundant table before me.
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it sent me on a journey of discovery.
Epiphany #3 was a part of that discovery. Epiphany #3 shocked me.
It happened at a Life Force training. I was there mostly for Jerry because he had to work his day job. I wasn’t fully invested in this new business. I saw myself as standing on the sidelines, supporting where I could, and cheering my husband on, “Good job, honey. Go! Go!”
But that day it suddenly it became clear that this wasn’t Jerry’s journey alone, this was my journey, too. That the Lord wanted me to be a business woman. In the excitement of that moment, and for several days afterward I was thrilled! I sensed the Lord smiling, cheering me forward. I recorded what I believed to be His heart:
. . . I have given you a place to stretch and develop the skills you need for the next stage of your journey. It is not a divergent path. It is one of balance. Sometimes my directions will conflict with your desire, just as it has in raising your family. You will have to juggle congruent, concurrent paths, but they will not be divergent. Be sensitive to Me, My child. It will keep us connected and close as you pray through next steps and pay attention to My direction.
And so I rejoiced and rushed off to tackle my new life.
Unfortunately all that wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I guess I should have paid attention when He said stuff like I was given a place to stretch and that His direction would sometimes conflict with my desires.
More about that next time.
I’m really close to meeting a personal goal in my new career as a business woman with Life Force International, the company whose products helped me lose over 55 pounds.
If you’ve been considering getting serious about the weight loss journey, I’d love to help you. And I’m offering a little incentive. If you order the BENew Life Shift Pack before Monday, 5 p.m. mountain time, Jerry and I will give you $25 off that first order. But it gets even better. The company is offering free shipping for two months if you sign up by Monday as well. That means you can save $50 off your first two months just by acting now.
But do this for more reasons than just saving money or helping me meet a goal. Do this for YOU. Do this for your family and friends who will enjoy the added energy and joy you bring to your relationships.
And do it with determination. Think through the story I shared on my last post and make the choice to be all in. Use healthy products AND make incremental lifestyle adjustments that will change your life.
You CAN do this. You can be healthier and stronger and thinner.
Email me with your questions, and I’ll help you out: Paula@paulamoldenhauer.com
I stood there with my shears, snipping away, watching a pile of roses gather. They were still beautiful, even though past their prime. But I knew they had to go if I wanted another full rose bush in the near future. Still, it’s hard for me to say goodbye to blossoms, even when they are tinged with brown, and their season is over.
My mind went to the journey to be healthier inside and out. There are a lot of “roses” I have to trim away there, too.
1) The approach to food of my youth. I could eat anything and not gain. I enjoyed this little rose of life, but it long ago withered away.
2) The idea that life gives me the movement I need. There were seasons where I walked across a college campus, marched in a band, went swimming, or chased babies. Life included healthy movement without it being intentional. That is no longer.
3) The belief that I can care for others without intentionally taking care of myself in a practical sense. It was probably never truly a rose, but there were seasons I handled a lot with little practical self-care. Somehow I thought I could pray enough and journal enough that I could just keep going. That season, too, is gone. God is there to empower and strengthen me, but He still expects me to make wise choices with how much I give out compared to how much I take in. He expects me to think about boundaries and time management and saying no.
These big picture beliefs aren’t simply weeds I need to periodically pull. They have to be completely cut away, gone forever. They may have bloomed in younger seasons, but they cannot flower in my life now. I need whole new paradigms if I’m to be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually fit.
What about you? Need to cut away any wilted roses so you can be in full bloom?
PS Wanted to give a shout out to my very sweet hubby! Today he received a rank advancement with Life Force International, becoming a silver elite. After the parent company of our franchise closed their doors last summer, Jerry has worked tirelessly to build from a new place, changing approaches and paradigms. I have always loved who Jerry IS . . . and I’m also loving the businessman he is BECOMING! Congratulations, sweetheart!
(And thank you to all the Life Force folks who have given us such great support. You are truly a blessing! A special shout out to Ben, Allison, Robin, David, and Alex.)
I’ve been posting about my weight loss journey, sharing journal entries from about two months ago so I can offer you guys a daily chronicle of the weight loss journey, but I decided to slip an extra post based on where I am real time. It was just too impacting on me to wait 60 days to share.
Jerry and I were at Sam’s Club. He pointed to the sugar and asked me to pick up three 10 lb bags. I couldn’t believe how heavy they were, how much they weighed me down. I know the weight I lost was more evenly distributed, but still!
I can hardly process how I lugged that much weight around every day for so many years. No wonder I move with much more ease. No wonder I feel so much lighter, inside and out.
I’m so grateful to God who is leading this journey, to my husband who told me I could do it, to my prayer group who prays for my victory, to Ben M. who was convinced I needed to be a beta tester, and the people at Life Force who invited me in. And of course to BeNew.
There are obviously hard days on a journey like this. Days when emotions or party food or plateaus threaten my forward progress. But from where I stand right now, I am shocked at how much easier it has been than I expected. The good nutrition in Body Balance and BeNew has curbed the cravings and made me stronger. People all around me have been sick this winter, but I feel a sniffle, then it goes away. I have energy that sometimes shocks me. And I have fallen in love with movement.
When you’re thin you take the ability to move for granted. With most people the weight creeps on slowly, and you don’t even realize how much joy of moving you’ve sacrificed. I could cry when I think about how much effort it took to even get out of a chair sometimes, and how light I feel now. I treasure my meandering walks through the neighborhood. I feel like giggling when I can’t help but actually run a while. The other night I dreamed I ran, effortlessly, for miles, not blocks.
Spiritually there is change, too. It’s like I’d given God access to everything but my body. There’s a new connection between us, and I sense His pleasure as He watching me living more of the life He created me to live. We take walks together, and my heart bubbles forth as I listen to the bird sing or feel His prompting to pray something unexpected.
If you’re on the fence about facing your need to lose weight, please don’t delay. If you’re trying shed the pounds but ready to give up, don’t! It’s not only about looking better (that just wasn’t enough for me), it’s about living better. Fuller. Stronger. With more joy.
I still have at least 20, maybe 30 more to go. It’s coming off more slowly now, and on some days that’s frustrating. But I’m not stopping. Where I am is so different than where I was, and I can’t wait to see what it will be like where I’m going.
Grocery shopping with Kathleen was enlightening. Honestly, things have been so tight financially since the parent company for my husband’s business stopped production that grocery shopping at home has been . . . interesting. Thankfully, there is often chicken or turkey and berries and yogurt at the discount place I often frequent, but it’s strange, too, not finding ingredients I want for specific dishes and not wanting to pay full price at the regular store. (I’m learning improvisation.) It’s also hard to resist packaged food that is high in calorie and low in nutrition, but VERY CHEAP, especially with three teenage boys with hollow legs eating non-stop and consuming huge quantities of groceries. (Thankfully, Jerry recently decided to work for Life Force, the company that chose me as a beta tester for BeNew. We believe this to be a viable option to replace the income we lost.)
But I’m in Florida now, a guest of my friend and her husband. We shopped healthy. Very little carbs. Eggs, chicken, salad stuff, and fruit. I learned a lot watching her make choices. So much of weight loss and healthy eating starts at the grocery store. That seems obvious, but . . .
Now this is the way to exercise—walking a gorgeous white-sand beach with the waves lapping next to me. Love the sand squishing between my toes! The seagulls block our path and flutter into the air as we push into their flocks, so close I can feel the whoosh as the birds take to flight. We leisurely walked 5 miles while we got caught up on each other’s lives.
It’s easier at sea level, and we didn’t push anything. We stopped halfway through to sit and watch the waves, but still! Who would have thought two months ago when I spent a good portion of my day in bed that I would walk five miles????
Thanks to all that walking, I was 328 calories BELOW 1200, which is good since I was 500 OVER yesterday. I’ve heard that you shouldn’t dip below 1,000, though, because your body thinks it is starving and holds onto the fat instead of releasing it. (I should probably research to substantiate that.)
So far I don’t feel like reading or journaling or doing anything but walk the beach, rest, talk to Kathleen, and lie in the sun. I thought I’d process all the trauma of the last many months, but I just don’t want to do anything.
Real Time Update:
I’m learning to shop healthier and eating lots more salad since learning from my friend Kathleen’s shopping habit two months ago. She probably won’t believe this, but I’m actually eating raw spinach for most of my salads now. (Something she tried to talk me into in Florida!)
Tomorrow’s post gets a little weird (at least for me) so uh . . . well, we’ll see what you think.
What About You?
How do you balance the need for healthy foods and your budgetary restrictions (if you have any). Do you agree that weight loss and healthy eating begins at the grocery store? What helps you make healthy c choices when you shop? What do you do to unwind? How do you process hard times?
Had a booksigning tonight. Had to eat out while traveling. We went to Panda Express. Instead of my favorite dish there (orange chicken), I chose Mandarin chicken because it wasn’t breaded or fried and could be purchased without the sauce. (YES, I KNOW there are other dishes full of vegetables and less calories and greater nutrition, but just because I’m on a diet doesn’t mean I’ve learned to like veggies!!!) I could tell I was a little smaller, but the pictures posted to facebook didn’t show it. Ugh. Tired of fat Paula pictures on facebook—and while I screen out the worst when I post myself, other people post awful pictures all the time!
Real Time Update:
Yes, that awful first shot of me in my sticky post at the top of my blog–the sequence of three–is the picture taken this day, the second of November. I hadn’t been tucking in my shirt for years, but for some reason just the few pounds I had lost made me do it on this day. As is shown in the picture, it was still NOT a good choice, but I’m comforted now because it was part of the journey. I look very different than I did that day . . . I can lose weight–and so can you. I’m down not quite 30 pounds. Would love to drop at least 20 more before I buy my mother-of-the bride dress this spring.
How About You?
Made a bad fashion choice and had it blasted all over fb? Or, on the positive, how have you adjusted eating out to better meet your goals? Do you have a date set for meeting a certain weight loss goal?
Tried the Balsamic Chicken from Life Force’s meal guide. It was SO good. Keeping the angel hair pasta portions small doesn’t rack up many calories. But this recipe also works with brown rice. I’ll serve it both ways . . .
Glad to be done with the cleanse. It doesn’t smell or taste bad. It’s just drinking green gunk at the end of my eating day . . . and there was that whole bloating, cramping, crying thing. lol
Yesterday was my birthday, but we didn’t do anything special, so it wasn’t hard to think about food. I’ll worry about that later this week when we go out with my neighbor for my annual birthday dinner.
It’s hard to believe I’ve been at this for a week now! At first it was overwhelming to think about what was going in my mouth. I wrote everything in a journal. I drove Jerry crazy asking, “how many ounces in this portion?” But once I got into the routine of paying attention, it wasn’t so hard.
Oh, and I’ve discovered My Fitness Pal. I put it on my phone. It makes it so much easier to track calories! It separates out nutrition, stores daily data, and even gives me daily and weekly averages. I love that it has a search engine connected to the tracking device, so I can just Google foods to learn how many calories they have, and it will put it directly into my log. AND if the food came packaged, I can just hover over the UPC code, click, and I have all the nutrition and calorie information imputed immediately!
Now that I’m more comfortable thinking about what to eat and how much (not that I’m done learning, but I no longer burst into tears at the thought), I want to get serious about walking most every day. There are many exercises I can’t do yet as I heal from the whiplash and other issues related to the accident. But I can walk. I walk slowly. I breathe hard even at that, especially up the hill by our house. I am so out of shape. But if I don’t what I can’t, if I don’t push so hard I feel unsuccessful or hate the experience, I can do this.
Real Time Update:
This post was originally written October 30th. Since then I find it much easier to eat responsibly. I still use the My Fitness Pal App and love it! I also have gone from walking short distances slowly to walking at least 3 miles most days–AND running part of the distance. As I started to become more active and continued to heal from my car accidents, I did the stretches given to me by my physical therapist, Ann. I’m much better now and have added in a few tummy exercises, like crunches 3-4 times a week.
How About You?
If you’re new to the journey, what are you struggling with today? What is your success? If you’ve been at it awhile, what helps you succeed?