Tag Archives: vacation

Weight Loss Journey Day 22

the beach walkingIf I were home today would be my “weigh in and tell BENew what my pounds and inches are” day.

But I’m not home.

Maybe the extra week before I weigh again will show some real results. I’m starting to feel different. I look in the mirror and my eyes aren’t so sure, but in my heart I KNOW I am different even if the mirror doesn’t SHOW it.

I can’t believe I can walk the whole beach like this. I’ve come so far from the woman who spent all those hours on the couch or in bed this summer. We see lots of cool stuff as we walk.

Today’s expedition included a small shark

shark closer

And a weird stump that sprayed ocean water as the waves rolled over it. I wish I were an artist and could paint it.

walking 2

I’m still doing nothing. Not reading, writing, or even watching movies. We sit on the lanai and talk for hours. We walk the beach or swim at the pool.

I lay in the sun in my bikini top.

Bikini top. Still weirded out by buying one and even more by wearing one. It isn’t about showing something off. With my weight and stretch marks that isn’t even possible. It’s about something . . . more. About not hiding. About not holding back because I fear what people think. About being brave enough to do something differently than I did yesterday–or even for most of my life.

So I expose this previously unexposed part of me to the sun, longing for it’s warmth, wanting to be kissed brown even as I fear I will scorch.

I keep cutting back on sunscreen because I’m not even tanning on my tummy, much less burning.

As so passes another day at the beach.

It’s peaceful as night falls here.

palm tree and dusk

We eat healthy

food florida

And watch the sunset as we do.

sunset and bird

The birds lift their wings to freedom, and I long to follow.

Real Time Update:

The brave thing of this week wasn’t buying clothes but giving them away–three garbage bags of three different sizes. It’s even braver to do so since I’m frustrated by that plateau I mentioned yesterday. But I will NOT return to 190 pounds. Or 183 Or 180. And I will NOT give up on losing another chunk of weight.

Though to be honest I’ve avoided exercise today. It is self-sabotage, this grumpy-I’m-not-going-to-do-it-if-I’m-not-going-to-see-results-attitude. I’m not giving into it long term. But for today . . . I’m nursing my emotion as I try to decide whose advice to follow: eat more, not less, for a short time; add more intensity to exercise; change up exercise patterns; drink more water; eat less; get more fiber; reduce carbs.

It’s overwhelming.

But I WON’T give up. Just taking today to process (okay, and to feel sorry for myself, although it’s not making me want to eat, it’s making it hard to force myself to eat.) And when I quit feeling so mad I’ll pray about this, make a decision, and keep on keepin’ on.

What About You?

What would be a freedom choice in your life? How do you process disappointment? Or make good choices when you get conflicting advice?

Weight Loss Journey Day 18

View from the lanai

View from the lanai!

Can I just say that airport food is ridiculous! Incredibly expensive, high in calories, and when you’re up for hours and hours and all off schedule . . . I just wanted lots of coffee on the plane, but of course I can’t stand their coffee without adding sugar and creamer . . . and I’ve been up since 2 a.m. Denver time and eating these little airplane snacks  . . . then of course we were starved and wanted a real meal once we got to our destination.

Way off calorie count by the time we settled in at our condo, and feeling heavy from the weird food, but not satisfied. Geez!

We eventually settled in for the night with a cleansing salad topped with walnuts and enjoyed with a glass of red wine while sitting in our lanai. (New word for Paula. Don’t I sound elegant?)

I’ve been thinking about how much I hide—like before I left home how I hid to cry, or how I almost didn’t type that I had a glass of wine because some of my friends don’t do alcohol.

But here’s the thing, I’m enjoying God’s incredible gifts: this wholesome food, beautiful sunset, glass of wine, and a lanai to sit in as I embrace it all.

Real Time Update:

Here I am, sixty something days after I first saw that gorgeous beach. But in some ways today was special like that. After several straight days of highs less than 10 degrees, I awoke to a toasty 28. I was no longer hindered by the cold! Spent three miles wandering the neighborhood, gazing at snow-capped peaks, and letting joy bubble forth after a difficult few days. Later, Jerry actually felt like walking with me (He hurt his back and couldn’t walk with me for most of these last 60 days, as I talked about in an earlier post,), so I got more sunshine and clocked another mile. This all led to making one of my more elegant meals for the family and feeling that I could enjoy it with them thanks to all the calorie burning. Gotta embrace the moments of beauty in this life!!

What about you?

What moment are you embracing today? Also, how do you handle traveling while seeking to eat healthily?