Photo Phobia? Oh, Brother.

Remember my post a while back about totally freaking out that I had a photo shoot? That I almost canceled because I felt so insecure about everything: how I looked, the few pounds I”d gained in the last couple of months of grief, having the “right” clothes, and all that silly girl stuff.

I write this blog with tears in my eyes.IMG_5685art 567x720

I love my photos. A friend who prayed me through my freak-out told me, “your smile is genuine and sweet.”

Oh, grace upon grace. A genuine smile after all that self-deprecating crap I’d put myself through.

These photos are a complete and total gift. I can’t wait to update the photos on my author website. (Those photos, too, were a complete and perfect gift at the time. That photographer, Kim Liddiard, is amazing.) But 50 plus pounds of weight loss was also a gift, and I look forward to the new-sized me on that site, too.

I’m still awed that my Creator saw fit to let me be a BENew beta tester and to help me through the physical and mental changes necessary to drop the extra pounds.

And now He does it again, abundance overflowing, with new head shot, a gift of Sandy Puc Photography. The ladies behind the camera did much to help bring forward my “genuine” smile, as you know from the post I wrote that day. They had a gift for making me comfortable as well as for capturing the real me. The gals there helped me pick the best shots when I felt overwhelmed, and the generosity of the studio blows me away. I can see why my friend and fellow author Megan DiMaria enjoys working there, and I’m grateful she mentioned me to them when they were talking about photographing women who’d gone through weight loss.

My heart is full.

To think I almost squandered this gift out of fear of not being “enough” that day. Oh, Jesus, will I ever learn?

Why, oh why do I fear the good things You give to me and to my family.

Help me to accept your gifts opened-handed, without fear, without worrying that I am not enough to handle them. Help me not to hide when you want me to step out.

Thank you, faithful blogging friends for your support on my scared day. Thank you for cheering me even when I can’t do that for myself. Thank you for helping me be vulnerable by telling me it matters to you and helps you be real, too.

IMG_5688art 567x720

 

Until Next time,

paula cropped

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18 thoughts on “Photo Phobia? Oh, Brother.

  1. Caryl Kirtley May 27, 2014 at 11:53 pm Reply

    BEAUTIFUL!! Inside and out!!

    • Paula Moldenhauer May 28, 2014 at 12:09 am Reply

      Thank you sweet friend. Hugs and love to you! Was just thinking about you today!

  2. Rebekah May 28, 2014 at 1:15 am Reply

    Smiling so big right now. They turned out great! Isn’t it funny how we get ourselves so worked up?!? I am so happy for you. God blessed you with a beautiful smile, that is for sure. What a gift. Thanks for being vulnerable and for sharing.

    • Paula Moldenhauer May 28, 2014 at 4:11 am Reply

      I wish we lived close Rebekah. I’d like to meet you face to face. We have so much in common! Thank you for the love you just spilled out all over me!

      • Rebekah May 28, 2014 at 11:53 pm

        You are so welcome. We may not live close, but we get to invite one another into our living rooms through our words. I do not even get to do that with my closest friends most days! 🙂 Thank you for all the kind words you have given me as well.

  3. disappearingwoman May 28, 2014 at 2:33 am Reply

    What a lovely picture of you! Your inner warmth shines through! 🙂

  4. Cynthia May 28, 2014 at 7:50 am Reply

    Beautiful! They turned out great. So happy for you.

  5. Sheila Stacy May 28, 2014 at 7:40 pm Reply

    The pics turned out Great!!!

    • Paula Moldenhauer May 28, 2014 at 7:55 pm Reply

      Thank you, Sheila! I hope you receive back the kinds of blessings you so freely give!

  6. mariekeates May 29, 2014 at 10:04 pm Reply

    Lovely photos Paula

  7. Steve Rebus June 4, 2014 at 3:37 pm Reply

    Paula, wow, lovely shots and such a warm loving smile! 🙂

    • Paula Moldenhauer June 4, 2014 at 10:29 pm Reply

      Thanks, Steve. God is good. I prayed His love would shine in my smile. And congratulations on your photography awards! Just visited your site. Awesome!

      • Steve Rebus June 5, 2014 at 9:15 am

        Paula, thank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving such a lovely comment! God bless 🙂

  8. Paula Moldenhauer June 5, 2014 at 6:36 pm Reply

    :o)

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