When I first read this concept two and a half months ago, I struggled. Reading it again now, I’m still struggling. I prayed for so long for a solution to my weight issues that I felt starting BeNew and the weight loss journey was more of a gift than a task.
Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t easy, especially at first. But I operated more out of a desire to embrace the opportunity than seeing the weight loss journey as obedience. I tried to do the things I needed to do–like change my calorie intake, choose different foods, and MOVE–because I longed for success. I didn’t really do it to please God as much as to reap the benefits of the gift He offered me.
I grew up with an over-active guilt meter and a tendency toward perfectionism. It was very damaging. In my 30s the Lord did some deep healing and helped me see how boundless His grace is. I do want to obey the Lord. But I don’t want my Christian experience to be a gutting it out, shutting down myself, do it only because I should existence. Instead, I want to embrace His gifts. To learn to walk in sync with His Spirit.
I like the word SURRENDER better than obedience. Obedience in my background was adhering to a list of rules and living in a straight jacket trying to be good enough. Surrender is seeing God as big and full and loving and unexpected. It’s learning to follow His leading. Surrender is also leaning into His empowering grace for all He asks me to do instead of gutting it out on my own effort.
I suppose at its core surrender is still obedience. But it feels more like a joyful choice to me. An opportunity to walk with God in sweet relationship.
That said, I do get the point about the scale. It is super easy to let the scale define me. It is really hard not to let the scale control my mood. It moves, and I’m happy. It stalls, and I’m grumpy. This has been a constant battle for me since October–to just keep believing in this process as God’s gift. To just keep surrendering to the process even when it got hard or when I didn’t think I saw results. To get my identity not from the scale, but from the awareness that I was God’s beloved daughter.
How About You?
Do you like the idea of focused obedience or does it trip you up like it did me? (It’s okay to disagree! God works with each of us differently!)
And have you thought about this opportunity to be healthier and slimmer as a gift? Does that help you or does it just not resonate with where you are. (I’m genuinely curious! On another group I’m in people loved this idea of weight loss being obedience to God.)